Current mood:	amused
Current music:	Alix playing GTA: San Andreas

~Mighty Pirate Ship

Girl and Triangle Hardcore Super Thugging Adventures PART TWO (Part One here)

(When we last left our two...protagonists, I suppose, as heroes doesn't seem to fit, they were bickering and traveling to a nearby city, in hopes of finding a way to get Girl home.)
Girl: ::staring at tree nearby, which is a giant green circle on a brown stick:: Why does this place make no sense?
Triangle: Why are you so ugly?
G: Hey!
T: What? We were asking questions, so I thought I'd throw one out there. why ARE you so ugly?
G: I'm not getting into this with you.
T: You said that two hours ago, and it was just as false back then!
G: So where are we going?
T: Where do you think we're going? You're the one who's all obsessed about getting to a town, although why you think someone would help you there is beyond me.
G: NO, I mean what town are we heading for?
T: Rhombus.
G: What?
T: Yes, the great Rhombus, jewel of the Pythago River, shining star of our society. Oh, what a marvelous place it is.
G: You're loading the sarcasm on a bit thick.
T: But no, we're going to Towny.
G: ...to where?
T: Towny. It's the closest place-
G: Your city is called Towny?
T: YES, why is this such a hard concept to grasp?
G: TOWNY OH MY GOD ::starts laughing hysterically:: TOWNY YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME TOWNY AHAHAAA
T: WHOOPS. ::throws her off::
(Another minor scuffle over the scattered Girl shapes, but then our two are back on track.)
G: Hey, do you hear something?
T: I hear-
G: You better not say "some irritating twat" because I'm being totally serious here. I hear something.
T: Yeah, so do I. How do you breathe? You're just constantly yammering on and on and on-
G: SHUT UP. It's like an engine of some kind.
T: An engine. ::scoffing noise::
G: Hey, look. ::points::
(The two stop, and lo and behold, there's a large shadow on the ground some distance ahead of them.)
T: What.
G: Was that there before?
T: ::doesn't even respond, just looks irritated::
G: ::looks up:: Hey, that cloud is moving.
T: WHAT
G: No, check it out. That cloud is totally moving. There's something coming off the top of it.
T: Oh $#%&! PIRATES!
G: WHAT!?
T: ::throws her off::
G: ::scatters, gets back together:: HEY!
T: Screw you lady, I'm out of here. I'm not messing with any pirates.
G: Pirates? PIRATES!? THERE ARE PIRATES HERE?! WHAT KIND OF MESSED UP PLACE IS THIS?! HOW IS THAT CLOUD RELATED TO PIRATES IN ANY WAY OR FORM?
T: I could mock you here, but that would cut into my escaping time. To get to the point - you're an idiot. Bye, sucker. ::tries to hop away, but again gets stuck floating in air::
G: I can't run you utter jerk! If I walk I turn into bits! You're going to have to carry me!
T: I don't have to do anything! Since when do I have any obligation to help you? And also, why can't I move?
G: That cloud is getting closer.
T: ::swearing in shape language::
(The cloud in question is a giant white puffy cloud, marked only as unusual by a huge mast, marked with flat metal circles, protruding from the top. Atop this mast is a large metal skull-like construction with what looks like screws for teeth. Despite the fact there's a mast, there's no rigging whatsoever.)
G: That makes no sense. Why would a pirate ship have a mast but no sails? Why would it have that mast at all in that case? It doesn't even have one of those pirate flags. What the heck.
T: That's Cap'n Skwarr's ship, you complete doofus.
G: Okay, how was I supposed to know that?
T: Maybe if you weren't such a mental case, you would have.
G: Get back here and pick me up. If the pirates are as obnoxious as you, I want nothing to do with them.
T: Did you not hear me before? Screw you lady. I'm not getting involved in this.
G: How am I supposed to escape!? I can't walk!
T: ::still trying to get unstuck from the air:: Okay, I'm going to tell you something very important that may shock you. I want you to pay attention. Are you paying attention?
G: Yeah, whatever.
T: Here it is. Are you listening? I want you to know that I DON'T CARE.
G: I already knew that.
T: Then why are you asking me to help you? My god lady, what messed up rails does your mental train run on?
G: Are all of your weird metaphors in this dimension that awkward?
(While our two have been bickering, the pirate ship has come quite a bit closer. Now that it has done so, it becomes more clear that hidden within the cloud cover are two large cannons, and the whirring sound that Girl heard could only be the propeller that grants it motion.)
G: ::looking up at the ship:: Out of curiousity, what do pirates do here anyway?
T: What do pirates do- WHAT DO PIRATES DO!? *WHAT DO PIRATES DO*?! ARE YOU ACTUALLY ASKING ME THAT!?
(From within the cloud cover flies a noose made of what at first appears to be rope, but on closer inspection are thin rectangles strung together. This rope settles around Girl without much difficulty, and she is raised from the ground much, as one could imagine, to her dismay.)
G: OH MY GOD
T: ::trying frantically to get away:: ARRRRGH WHY CAN'T I MOVE
(A matching rope loops around Triangle, and the two are whisked up into the cloud.)
G: AGH GOD IT'S IN MY EYES pftththhpthh pthhhthh please tell me clouds are made of water here.
T: Great. I'm so dead thanks to you. I'm never doing anything for anyone ever again.
G: I somehow doubt you ever did before.
T: Liiiiies.
(Once inside the cloud, the ship itself becomes visible. It's a fairly standard wooden piratical ship, with all the necessary piratey things upon it. The villainous crew are all kinds of shapes, decked out in various attire depending on their shapeliness. For example, a triangle with a bandana, a pentagon with a hat, or a circle with an eyepatch. Not all shapes can wear hats. This is important information, and I hope you're all paying attention.
Girl and Triangle are thrown onto the deck. Girl's sweater and backpack are quickly confiscated, and her hands tied behind her back. Perhaps because the universe is out to get them, Triangle is tied to Girl.)
G: I don't have any money! ::the pirate shapes ignore her:: No seriously. I don't have anything. You can totally let me go.
T: ::sigh::
G: So what's going to happen here? They just gonna rob us or what?
T: I hate you.
(With a mighty clomp, the great Cap'n Skwarr appears on deck. As his name may suggest, he is in fact a square, with a pirate hat, an eyepatch, and a cutlass. He waves this around and Girl watches him do so quite intently.)
G: How can you do that? You don't have hands. You're a shape. What the what how can one world make so little sense GOD WHAT IS-
Skwarr: Arrrr!
T: God, shut up you idiot. You're making it worse.
G: No seriously, how on earth are you holding that? It's just hovering around your shape body. Am I to believe that you have some kind of mental telepathic powers or something, or that shapes don't need hands to hold stuff? How far does this weird ability extend? Could you hit people from far away? What the- on that note, who built this ship? How can shapes build things YOU DON'T HAVE HANDS-
Skwarr: Arrrr! ::whacks Girl across the head, knocking her out::

(Since we're mostly following Girl here, let's have a tasteful blackout. Girl awakens in the hold of the ship. Her hands are still tied, but she is now also tied to a ring on the wall by a rope around her neck. And beside her sits Triangle, also tied to the wall, and neither are too pleased to find they have yet to escape the other's company.)

G: Ow.
T: I told you to shut up.
G: And yet again NO ONE ANSWERS MY QUESTIONS.
T: You're lucky Skwarr didn't take your ugly head off. Too bad for me in that case, since then maybe you'd STOP TALKING. Either way, he's going to sell you off, so that works out for me too.
G: He's going to what?
T: Sell you. God, are you deaf?
G: Sell me? To who? What is this? There's still slavery in this world? Who would buy me? Are you telling me that I'm going to get owned by a *square*?
T: Octagon, actually.
G: An OCTAGON?
T: Yeah. Fat losers. Octagons are dumb.
G: Okay, WHY would he sell me to an octagon? What use would an octagon have for me?
T: Pleasure slave.
G: ::long stare:: Pleasure slave wtf that doesn't even make sense. What's he going to do, roll all over me?
T: After he gets tired of your big fat yap, I'd imagine so.
G: I've got to get out of here. I've got to get home. I've got to-
T: You've got to stop bugging me. You've got to shut up.
G: ::glare::
T: The truth will set you free.
G: That doesn't even make sense! Besides, if I get home, it would be in your best interests anyway, since I wouldn't be bugging you anymore in that case, would I?
T: Anything that will get you away from me is okay by me. Including you getting sold to some fat octagon.
Vampy: Hey hey! New people!
(Attention is swiftly diverted to the person who is also sharing the cell, unnoticed until this very moment! She has blond hair in a side ponytail, a shirt with a star on it, a denim skirt, and hiking boots.)
G: Who are you? Hey, you're human!
V: Well, sort of.
G: Okay, so that means I'm not completely crazy! In some way or another, anyway. ::to Triangle:: Why didn't you tell me there were other humans here?
T: ::stares at her, then at Vampy:: Excuse her, she has no brain.
G: Ignore him, he's a jerk. How did you get here? Where did you come from? Did you fall through a dimensional portal like I did?
V: Wow, you ARE weird.
G: OH MY GOD I'M JUST ASKING QUESTIONS WHY DOES EVERYONE ACT LIKE I'M A FREAK
V: Well, either way, we need to get out of here. I'm not much for the whole slave business myself.
G: What would shapes need slaves for anyway?
V: Shapes are lazy.
T: HEY well...actually yeah.
V: Either way, I'm not exactly jonesin' for the slave deal here.
T: ::rolls eyes::
G: So what should we do?
V: Well, I think I can chew through this rope holding me here. I think we should wait until we dock somewhere, then try and escape then.
G: That could take ages, though.
Some shape somewhere: TOWNY AHOY
G: Snerk. Towny.
V: Well, there you go! ::Vampy stands and the rope holding her snaps quite easily:: I'm blowing this pop stand.
G: We're coming too, aren't we?
V: ::stares at Girl for a few seconds:: Eh, sure. Why not. ::Vampy sets to untying the two of them::
(Shapes are clomping about on deck. Girl and Triangle are free! Before Triangle can attempt to dart off, Girl jumps on his back. Triangle does not approve, but lets her stay on for now)
V: Woah, what's that all about?
G: Have you seen my sweater or backpack around here?
V: I bet they're in Cap'n Skwarr's room. I can go and nab 'em real quick if you want.
G: Really? Won't you get caught?
V: ::gives her a weird look: Uh...no. No I won't. Sheesh. ::Vampy wanders off::
G: ...what is with people in this dimension? Is everyone a jerk or what?
T: You know, maybe the problem is on YOUR end. Just a thought.
G: That's ridiculous. You're ridiculous. In fact, this entire scenario is ridiculous. I wish I was dreaming, but at the same time I'm afraid that dreaming up something this utterly ludicrous would not be a good sign.
T: Ludicrous is a word for it. Retarded is another, in particular in reference to you.
(Vampy comes back and hands Girl her stuff.)
V: There you go, all's well that ends well.
G: Didn't Skwarr see you?
V: Duh, didn't I just go over that?
G: ...no?
V: Anyway, let's jet, people.
(The three make their way on deck. This is a bit awkward, considering there are stairs and Girl is still on Triangle's back. Triangle makes this no less difficult by leaping as high as he can so as to bonk Girl's head on the ceiling each chance he can get.)
G: I swear to God I will kill you when I find out how.
T: Good luck, lady.
V: Zip lip, pirates are about.
(The three attempt a stealthy escape. Girl and Triangle's incessant arguing make this difficult. Someone botches a roll and Triangle ends up hopping right into a pile of boxes. Girl hangs on, thankfully, although all eyes are on them. The pirates stare. The three escapees stare. A lot of staring goes on.)
V: Kay everyone, time to jump!
G: WHAT
V: ::grabs Girl off of Triangle and leaps off the side of the ship::
G: ::screams like...well, like a girl.::
(As it turns out, the ground is about three feet down, and Girl's screaming was mostly for nothing. Triangle bounces down soon after, and Girl jumps back on him as soon as possible. Triangle again, is not pleased, but there are more pressing matters at the moment as the pirates begin to give chase.)
V: It's time we am-scrayed, chickas. Let's mosey.
G: ::really weird look::
T: God GET OFF ME
(There is a chase scene here. Eventually, they escape. In the distance, one can see the spires of Towny.)
V: Well, that was invigorating.
G: This world makes no sense. I just want one thing to make sense. One. Thing.
T: You're a fat cow, by the way.
G: Bite me.
V: Well, anyway. It was nice meeting you, girl.
G: So are you gonna like...join up with us?
V: Now why would I do that?
G: I dunno...it just seemed like a logical thing to ask. God, now that I think about it, what a weird question.
V: Eh, don't worry about it. ::starts walking away::
G: Hey wait, how can you walk here without falling apart?
V: ::calls over her shoulder:: Duh, I'm a vampire. See you later! ::leaves::
G: ...Can NO ONE IN THIS DUMB DIMENSION GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER?!
T: If you mean is everyone in this dimension not a tard, then yes.
G: Guh. I didn't even get Vampy's name. Well, at least there's Towny. Maybe I can get home now.
T: I think you're going to be disappointed.
G: Why?
T: Towny doesn't have great mental health hospitals and stuff. You'll probably end up on the streets begging for degrees.
G: What are degrees- I'M NOT CRAZY
T: Whatever, lady. ::starts hopping towards the city:: Anyway, faster I get rid of you, faster things get back to normal i.e. not aggravating.
G: It's everyone *else* here that's crazy.
T: Sure. Whatever.

AND SO ENDS ANOTHER AMAZING ADVENTURE WITH GIRL AND TRIANGLE! WHAT SECRETS WILL TOWNY HOLD?